Chronicles of the Dog

When Marilee and I first got our dog Jack as a new pup, we were so excited. Not only was this a long-time wish of ours to have a dog, but because this was one step closer to having a child. I think Jack always knew that he was the John the Baptist, paving the way for someone who would usurp his place and authority. His life has always been devoted to one thing, "postpone the kid." For instance, when we got him we told ourselves that if we could keep a dog alive we could probably handle having a kid. So what does Jack do, a week after he arrived - concocted a life-threatening Pneumonia, costing us thousands of dollars. His strategy was two-fold - not only had he set us back financially, he caused us to doubt our readiness for child-raising - GENIOUS! He had indeed cemented his role as "our child."

Every time Jones (that's my name for Marilee) and I would gain a spine and lay down the law, he would develop some illness and give us those big ol' sad eyes. We were jello. He sleeps in the bed with us, has his favorite spot on the couch, prefers Breyers to Dreyers, and throws a fit if he is told no (really, he has a conniption). Just a couple of weeks ago I went into the kitchen to slice myself some cheese. I went to go answer the phone and 2 seconds later Jack runs into the living room with the whole block of cheese imprisoned in his mouth. You see, he loves cheese. This was a triumph.

What will we do when little Malott arrives in January and Jack is no longer mister numero uno? Already he can tell something is up. He seems to be regressing some in his behavior. But everytime we have little ones over he loves them. He just wants to keep licking them. It's us I'm worried about, not junior. Little Malott will just have to get used to being soaked with puppy drool every day. Oh well, some kids do have it worse - there are starving kids in China still.