Its been almost 3 months since I've (Jesse) posted anything, so please excuse my rough blog edges as I enunciate my innermost feelings regarding Fatherhood.
HEEELLLLLPPPP!!!!
Having a baby is quite possibly the most difficult thing I have ever experienced. And the most exciting. Marilee has already expressed to you dear blog-ees that we have had no sleep for over 3 weeks (except for some pity that our folks provided us). But that is truly not the most difficult thing. The most difficult thing that I have come across is overcoming my very male need to fix the situation. With babies, most of the time, you cannot "fix the situation".
I mean my normal tendency is to look at his fussing like I would with any problem in the church. I assess the level of the problem. Is this harming multiple people? Is this a problem that is bound in the past? Will I or others be able to resolve this quickly or will I be in this in the long haul? Usually the answer is no to all of the above for Gavin. Then I move on to step 2 - What are the resources at my disposal in order to accomplish a solution? With the baby - pacifier, bottle, music, blow dryer, vacuum cleaner, and lately a strange white hip hop dance that I came up with that seems to appeal to my very white child.
Step - After exhausting all resources, how do I turn this problem into a solution that works for everyone? In this case I feel like I am dealing with an alcoholic. He wants the bottle, not necessarily from need but because he "has to have it." Originally I didn't want to be controlled by the kid, but when he hits that "pig sqeal" it is all over for me. I shove that bottle in his mouth while doing the Macarena in my skivvies at 3am faster than you can say "Cranky boy". It's about survival right now. I have few solutions - I have become a minimalist parent - seeking to keep my son happy for 15 minutes so that I can pay the bills. Sorry Baby Whisperer - I have failed you.
Yet in those survival moments - I find myself so in love with this little guy that looks just like me. He even has the crazy Conan O'Brian hair - poor kid. We had prayed that we would have a mellow child like Marilee. Instead we have the blessing of raising a very "spirited boy". May God bless us all as we enjoy that spirit.
3 comments:
YAY
Ah yes, the "spirited child..." Put fourteen years on this precious fellow and let's see what he's capable of. Don't worry, I'll be there to take your call when you're crying in the garage in your pink housecoat... :)
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